1. You are beautiful, but much more than that you are clever, and spirited, and determined as all heck. These intangible qualities are the ones that will truly serve you well in life. Don't ever let anyone reduce you to a 5 minute sound bite, when you're really a novel with so many pages yet to be written.
2. Being a girl is tough. If we work outside our homes, we aren't paid as much as our brothers for the same work. We struggle with being torn between our families and our careers. We are more likely to live below the poverty line and are often the victims of physical and/or sexual violence. And that's just here in the U.S. Many of our sisters around the globe fair much worse. But....
3. Being a girl is also amazing. You can be soft, but also incredibly strong. Teflon strong. When you think about it, you are magic! You have within you the capability to grow and nurture life. And even if you decide to never have children or if for some reason you can't, know that you are magic just by being born a woman. Welcome to the sisterhood. Seek out the advice of other strong women. Emulate the qualities that you admire and learn from the mistakes of those who've gone before you.
4. Don't be afraid to do you. Don't want to wear dresses or frilly bows? That's ok. Prefer to climb trees instead of social ladders? That's ok too. Want to be the girliest princess who ever lived? I support you. You. Do. You. My job is to keep you safe and loved and educated and a good human. The rest is up to you.
5. Count your blessings. I hope one day you are able to appreciate just how lucky you are. You have opportunities that generations prior have fought and died for. You have the support of parents who have worked hard, so that you don't have to feel what it's like to struggle. But make no mistake, there is very little that separates us from the homeless person you see on the street. Do not squander the gifts you've been given. Work hard and remember to pay it forward.
6. Marry (or don't!) but make sure any partner you have respects you first and foremost. Without respect, there is no way that a relationship can thrive. The person you choose to link your life with should treat you as the equal that you are. A good partner will always want what's best for you and never try to pull you down. You should provide all of the same to your partner.
7. Be kind to yourself. In a world where you are bombarded with images that suggest that your worth as a woman is tied strictly to your body, it might be hard some days to love what you see in the mirror. Love yourself anyway. Value yourself anyway. Drown out that voice in your head that tells you that you're not good enough or pretty enough or thin enough or curvy enough. You are worthy. You are enough.
8. Karma is a thing. Put out as much positive energy in the universe as you can. I've learned that doing good for the sake of good is always its own reward. Never do something with the expectation of receiving something in return. If you give, give with an open heart. Treat the person who cleans the floors with the same respect you'd give to a visiting dignitary. We are all deserving of the same love and respect. The universe will thank you for it.
9. Believe in ... something. I believe in God. I pray you always will too, but, if not, I hope you'll choose to believe in something. Believe in the greater good. Believe in the kindness of people. Believe in forgiveness. The world is a good place. Of course bad things can and do happen, but when they do, your faith (however you choose to express it) will pull you through.
10. Don't be afraid to ask for help. If you are ever suffering, please don't do it in silence. You are surrounded by a large network of people who love you and would do anything for you. Did you know that women are more likely than men to suffer depression, and that 1 in 8 women will experience depression in her lifetime? I've been there myself and if you ever end up there too, I promise to listen to you and validate you and sit with you until the clouds finally lift. I promise that the clouds do eventually lift.
Bonus #11 (because it almost goes without saying)
I will always be your number 1 fan. In case you don't already know this, you and your siblings are my reason for living. You've given me more purpose in life than anything or anyone else. I may be a bit tough on you when you get older. And there may be some (a lot) of times where we won't necessarily see eye to eye, but I will never stop rooting for you. Will I sometimes embarrass you? Absolutely. It is my God given right as your mother to be a little mortifying. But when all is said and done, know that I will always be there, a few feet behind, until the day you're ready to step out into the world, the strong and confident woman that you were always meant to be.
Happy birthday. Love, Mama
