Yes, I am an advocate of breastfeeding. I have breastfed all three of my children. My youngest is 14 months old and I still breastfeed him in the evenings. Yes, I am an advocate of extended breastfeeding. I don't think it is creepy or wrong to breastfeed a toddler. Most importantly, though, I am an advocate of feeding your child with love. Period. I don't think that formula is toxic or bad and I don't think that mamas should be shamed into believing that they have somehow failed if they couldn't breastfeed (for whatever reason or no reason at all). Is breast best? I think there is a general consensus among medical science, including the formula companies, that it is (assuming you are healthy of course), so you don't need me to go through all of that here. HOWEVER, newsflash: formula is not the devil! I have supplemented with formula in the past and did not feel guilty about doing so. Again, a baby fed with love is a happy baby.
There are some women who don't have a desire to breastfeed, so they happily use formula from the get go. There are other women who simply cannot breastfeed due to a medical condition or incompatible medication. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you and your baby. To these women I say, more power to you mama! There are other women who want so much to breastfeed, but simply cannot make it work. They often feel guilt and terrible sadness over not being able to breastfeed. My heart absolutely breaks for them. To these women I say this:
There are some women who don't have a desire to breastfeed, so they happily use formula from the get go. There are other women who simply cannot breastfeed due to a medical condition or incompatible medication. At the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you and your baby. To these women I say, more power to you mama! There are other women who want so much to breastfeed, but simply cannot make it work. They often feel guilt and terrible sadness over not being able to breastfeed. My heart absolutely breaks for them. To these women I say this:
Your bodies have not failed you. You have not failed your child.
The truth is that you're operating at a disadvantage here. You have not been equipped with the tools to make breastfeeding work. You have not been given appropriate maternity leave to solidly establish your milk supply. You have been denied time and a clean place to pump. Your hospital or other healthcare provider might have insisted that your baby receive formula right away (despite any legitimate need for it). You might be the first women in your family in several generations to breastfeed. Your families and significant others may not have understood or supported your decision to breastfeed. Your breasts have been so sexualized by society, that the slightest glimpse of your flesh in public while nursing a child results in looks of disgust and outright hostility.
These things are not your fault mama.
We need to do a better job of providing women with the resources and education that they need to make the breastfeeding relationship work. I highly recommend visiting a Lactation Consultant right away to talk about what a proper latch looks like and how to address any issues that might arise. As a start, here are some great resources that I have used: La Leche League, Kelly Mom, International Lactation Consultant Association. In a nation where two income households are the norm, workplace policies should provide accommodation to nursing moms (a clean, secure place to pump is a must). For optimal success, everyone in that mama's support system needs to be on that boobie train cheering her on!
Above all else, though, let's be about supporting each other - not bashing each other's basic parenting decisions. Whether you formula feed or breastfeed, we are all in this together as mamas and that should be enough common ground to push us past all the petty bickering and grandstanding that usually accompanies this type of discussion. After all, there would be no "mommy wars" if moms didn't want to fight.
We need to do a better job of providing women with the resources and education that they need to make the breastfeeding relationship work. I highly recommend visiting a Lactation Consultant right away to talk about what a proper latch looks like and how to address any issues that might arise. As a start, here are some great resources that I have used: La Leche League, Kelly Mom, International Lactation Consultant Association. In a nation where two income households are the norm, workplace policies should provide accommodation to nursing moms (a clean, secure place to pump is a must). For optimal success, everyone in that mama's support system needs to be on that boobie train cheering her on!
Above all else, though, let's be about supporting each other - not bashing each other's basic parenting decisions. Whether you formula feed or breastfeed, we are all in this together as mamas and that should be enough common ground to push us past all the petty bickering and grandstanding that usually accompanies this type of discussion. After all, there would be no "mommy wars" if moms didn't want to fight.
Well said my friend! The decision whether to breast or bottle feed is personal, and I think it is unfair for other non-related parties to insert their preference. I think feeding with love is the best way to go about it.
ReplyDeleteAmen to that! Let's all just respect each other's choices.
DeleteI agree, I am also a breastfeeding advocate and love to see other women breast feed their child. However, I understand that some people can't or don't want to for whatever reason. I respect their opinion.
ReplyDeleteI so agree! It's a topic that's fraught with so much debate. Live and let live is my motto :)
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