Our Sacred Doody As Parents

As parents we are entrusted with raising our babies up to be good people and productive citizens. From potty training to job training - it's all a little daunting. In fact, if you really stopped to think about it, the enormity of that responsibility might overwhelm you.  Fear not, though! The chances of your sweet little Teddy pulling a Bundy on you are slim!

My philosophy has always been, if I can keep 'em alive long enough to make it to adulthood AND they don't experience an overwhelming urge to eat other people once they get there - I WIN! It was all worth it. Some of you might be thinking "Well, geez, that's not aiming very high is it? Don't you want your kids to be successful. Aren't you a lawyer yourself?" Yes! And I am a little bat shit crazy as a result of it! Sometimes I wonder: was I always crazy and practicing law has made things worse, or has the practice of law made me crazy?  (The people who know me, better not answer that).

I want my kids to be happy above all else. Don't get me wrong. I want them to succeed. I just don't think making big bucks is the only indicator of success.  I want them to pick a profession that will never feel like work to them. We spend far too much time in our places of business to be miserable. Luckily, my kids are still a long ways off from having to prepare resumes.  Top job contenders currently include pirate and ice cream taste tester.  As it should be.

I have to say, though, that my kids currently have a more active and fulfilling social life than I do.  I'm ok with that.  What I try to be weary of is over-scheduling them to the point where things are no longer fun.  If you are five and feel like your part-time job is to attend birthday parties, soccer practice, dance class, art class, etc., - something is wrong.  Whatever happened to playing outside?

What I like to do on a nice day is kick my kids outside of the house to play in the yard.  Once they are out there, I lock the screen door so they can't get back in. Yes, I said it. Of course, I stay within ear shot in case one of the little buggers bangs on the door (time to install a doggie door?).  It's a little old-school, but they're kids!  They need to run around outside and do kid things!  Like build a fort or dare each other to eat worms or something.  And for the love of God - have them turn off the (iPAD mini/Nook/Kindle/DS/Tablet) electronics.  

If you've managed to raise half-way normal people, my hat's off to you! Congrats! Now here's a pen and paper. Write down instruction for me showing exactly what you did.